I never thought much about pickup trucks until I bought one. I bought it because we’d moved to the country from a city and found ourselves hauling big sacks and unwieldy things. Once we had one of these American icons we began to think about who drives them.
After six years in the country—upstate New York to be exact—I’ve noticed that a curiously large number of
pickups don’t have much in them except sour dead soldiers, assorted hair bungies and wrappers, crammed ash trays, and the detritus of too much living on wheels.
True, quite a few pickups have tools and other suggestions of plying a trade, and I always find these reassuring because they punctuate the depressing number of trucks that seem to constitute the sole purpose of living for people who withhold a decent living from barbers.
I’ve also noticed that gas stations are hardly the only places where pickups fuel up. The kind of bars that sport forlorn glass-eyed moose heads are favorite fuel depots, and it’s a lot cheaper these days to tank up there than at gas stations. At least in the short run.
Big wheels and tires are popular, but I hardly ever see the trucks sporting them operating in places where they’re needed. So I conclude the obvious, the drivers like to be seen as big wheels, which strongly suggests something small, dank and concealed.
As I walk along country roads I contemplate the dedicated purpose of these guzzlers: to litter the countryside with condoms, crushed cans, fast-food styrofoam containers, cigarette butts, and all the other signs of a throw-away society. I begin to discern the purpose of this redneck panache: it’s the chosen device by which a hapless underclass signals its contempt for a society that gives less and less of a damn for anyone who hasn’t been as successfully greedy as the people buying all those awful McMansions.
Why should all those manicured lawns and clever land conservancies remain pristine when society is trashing these otherwise invisible citizens? Why should we not feel their contempt for our indifference? Why should there not be as much inconvenience in our lives as there is despair in theirs? Why should the pickups not emit signs of their owners’ despair?
One of the most wasteful aspects of relentlessly suburbanizing America is that contractors are responsible for fleets of pickups running around picking up this and that at considerable distances, wasting time, fuel and money, and inevitably driving up the cost of everything. I once saw a contractor casually send a worker 20 miles one way to pick up a pack of roofing nails. This is not a rational way to live or do business, and yet it’s the business that has been supporting our lunatic economy. And it puts a mantle of legitimacy on all this non-profit trucking that we’re financing with borrowed Chinese money.
I once asked a farmer what all these guys in pickups do for a living? He said they live to gas up their pickups. And then? That’s it, that’s what they do, he said. Everything else is demeaning. What about trashing the countryside? Is it reserved for us newcomers, for people they perceive as being better off than they are? Well, I’d kinda like to say that, said the farmer, but the truth is they trash everyone, except their kin, and sometimes them too, depending on who gets who pregnant.
But not state police barracks? I chimed in helpfully. He smiled. Well, not them unless there doesn’t happen to be any cruisers outside.
What did he think about it as an act of contempt? Well, I’d have to think about it, he said. His notion has always been that their parents didn’t teach them any better. Well, that could be true, too, I said, but it seems to me there’s gotta be some anger there. What’ve the lazy bastards got to be mad about? he asked. I think maybe you’ve worked so hard all your life, I said, you haven’t noticed society’s not giving them much to live for. Hmmm, he said, ain’t been givin’ me very much either.
He’d been thinking about our conversation when I bumped into him a few weeks later at the recycling station. You know what you said about the guys in the pickups? he asked me. Well, in case you haven’t noticed they’re the dumb bastards who vote for Republicans. Hell, I said, I was sure you were a Republican, so I figured I’d keep my mouth shut about politics. Well, he said, I used to be a Republican when they cared about spending other people’s money, but now it seems the only thing they’re worried about is their own money. Yeah, you know, back when they weren’t budget-busting blue meanies, he added helpfully. He was using language that would pass muster at his church coffee hour and I liked him immensely for it.
Oh right, I said appreciatively, they’re voting for folks they think are as angry as they are, only they haven’t figured out the only thing the people they vote for are angry about is not being able to take more from the voters. We fell silent for a moment, and then I said, Ya think they vote? Well, I’m just supposin’ they do, the farmer said. I vote so early on election day, he said, I wouldn’t know.
Well, you know your own town, I said, not letting him off the hook, do they or don’t they vote? Sure they do, he answered brightly, ya see it all over your lawn, doncha?
—DM